


Finch realizes early on in their friendship that he has feelings for Violet, and fairly soon she begins to develop feelings for Finch as well. The romantic relationship between Violet and Finch is central to the plot of the story. Only then, reading his words, does she let go of the guilt. As if anticipating that Violet would feel guilty for his death, Finch leaves a letter for her with song lyrics, showing that she was the best thing that happened to him, that she made him so happy. Embry, he tells her that he, too, feels some guilt, but that ultimately his survival wasn't up to either of them. In a conversation with Finch's counselor, Mr. When he dies, she again experiences this guilt, feeling like she could have done more, she could have saved him. Why is she alive but not Eleanor? Will people walk on eggshells around her forever? How does she live her own life without forgetting Eleanor? She dislikes the way her parents, teachers, and counselor talk about being a survivor only when she meets Finch does she start to understand some of the complex emotions she's feeling. Violet survived a car accident that killed her sister, and is continually reckoning with what that means.

Guilt, particularly survivor's guilt, is explored throughout the novel. Ultimately, Finch gives Violet the gift of carrying her through her grief, allowing her to experience all the sadness and anger and confusion she needs, while also nudging her forward, helping her see that she still has a life to live. Furthermore, Finch seems to be someone who has always had grief in him-the story of the cardinal, which so affected him, seems to have cemented this deep well of grief that he cannot escape, which is tied up with his depression. Finch, in his own way is grieving: he grieves his lost father, who didn't die but did abandon them, and did hurt them. Her parents do not deal with Eleanor's death out in the open, which frustrates Violet and causes her to further retreat from the outside world. Violet has been severely affected by the death of her older sister Eleanor and does not cope well, becoming a shell of the person she once was, alienating herself and trying to stay under the radar.
